so. i gained 2 pounds from this weekend, and decided to try and do some work outs in my room. i was inspired by how enthusiastically i was dancing in dance class today and how i actually broke a sweat just from jumping up and down and hopping around to some of my favorite songs. i made a list of rules that i MUST follow from now on.
Rule #1. less carbs.
2. all vegan. (i sometimes call myself a selective vegan, or my way of 'cheating' on butter, chocolates, and such)
3. work out at least every other day.
4. more water!
5. more fruit and veggies
6. less calories!
7. snack - no huge meals (i binge once or twice instead of eating all throughout the day)
8. eat when hungry (i eat even when i'm not hungry. ew)
9. less sugar/high fructose corn syrup
10. no food after 7pm
and thats my set of rules. easy enough i suppose. anyway, as i was working out and doing my cardio, i stopped when i remembered there was an article in seventeen on abs. so i tore it out and got on the floor to try some of the moves. when i couldnt feel anything after trying and trying, i burst into tears.
god. i'm fucking physco.
I`m trying to make myself feel better...
I`m redying my hair, going to take a nice shower...
Maybe do my nails...maybe I`ll feel prettier.
Probably not though.
Sorry I`m so negative,
im new to the community, i used to be a member of ana_bootcamp a long time ago but now im back. i have been feeling like shit and am just trying to get back on track.
today i am fasting and im planning on fasting as long as i can to try and boost my weight loss. i feel like im just soo huge in the last 2 years since having my son, (and yes i really am huge) but i am soo determined to get back down.
i have had ednos for about 8 years now (im 22 years old) and i have tried to recover after having my son but old demon have crept back and i feel like i am now in deeper than i was before.
i hope that i can find ppl on here that will listen to my crap and support me. i dont encourage anybody to live this way willingly, but i will be there for all of you in any way that i can be.
- Current Location:lounge
So, I tried to join proanaonline.com but they keep blocking me. I think it's because of my bmi (it's 29) and I'm not at all pro-anorexic so I have no idea.
I used to be really thin, and I was abusing diet pills and all that but my parents and boyfriend found out, so I stopped and I gained a TON of weight, obviously my bmi is really bad. I used to have a bmi of 19. My metabolism is crap now. I'm trying to fix it again. I'm also going on a vacation to florida with my boyfriend on the 17th, so I'm planning on losing some weight for that, obviously will not be close to bikini ready, but every little bit helps.
I hope everyone is having a good day =)
I'm Maple, I'm the new maintainer. I regret to inform you all this community's last maintainer died after a long fight with her own anorexia few months ago.. I was a close friend of hers and I recently received a message from one of her other buddies requesting I take on the task of keeping this place, so here I am. I changed the layout, as you can see. If you do not like it, or would like to suggest anything, feel free to leave a comment or message me! I'll try to do a good job. Here's my introduction:
cw: 140 lbs
hw: 140 :(
lw: 84 lbs
gw1: 130 lbs
gw2: 120 lbs
ugw: 100 lbs
much love to you all--
does anyone else just have days when they hate themselves beyond belief? not even suicidal. just self hatred.
cw: 112 ..!!
i drank saturday night.
im still hungover.
i kissed people i shouldnt have kissed, and a guy i don't really know kissed me, and tried getting with me, after trying to get him home safe, he forgot where he lived, and ended up passing out in my living room.
im avoiding school at all costs. i really do not want to face anyone there.
i hate how depressed i get for months after drinking.
I feel like everyone is laughing at me for making stupid choices, and doing stupid things.
I think I am passive suicidal (I consider it, wish I could, but I never would) I don’t want to wear clothes that are tight, I feel fat and insecure. I feel incredibly uncomfortable in most clothes, i have to go to school this afternoon, but I really don’t want to go.
I honestly feel like crying. I wish I could just have you all here, and we could be friends and go through everything together. I hope im not the only one who feels like that.
Im finished school in june, and I don’t have any provincial exams (government exams, for those who don’t live in Canada)
This summer im heading out east to Ontario for a month or so. I think I really need it. I wish I could get rid of this feeling of dread deep within me. Its scary. I hate feeling like this. As soon as I start feeling good, I go and ruin it.
I really need a buddy right now. My only ‘friend’ here isn’t exactly a friend; we talk at school and sometimes hang out but I cant relate to her anymore. She just isn’t where I am right now.
Im sorry for the ramble. Id be surprised if you read it all.
Thanks for listening anyways.
Sorry for the delay. This weekend was hectic. I'm surprised I actually made it down to 105 lbs (:
Also, today's entry may not make much sense. I was kind of just rambling (:
i usually dont post when i'm happy, but i wanna share it!
i've been in the happiest most healthy relationship i've ever been in
i'm losing weight without trying
to full of butterflies to eat food
and everything is exactly how i want it right up to my eyebrows
and i have a concussion, (not totally ideal, i guess, but it resulted in something good somehow)
so i cant play sports
so i'm not going to eat food this week!
and its going to be easy
cause things are awesome.
EXES AND OHS LADIES!
Today was pretty average.
Not my best. Not my worst.
I was still bothered by it though. I had like 700-900 calories.
I'm not too sure because I was at my mom's and she cooked for me.
I guess if you factor in my 400 calorie burn its not TOOO bad.
I hope your all doing great!!!<3
I know...gross...but I've come a long way :)
Continuing my journey :)
Good Luck Girlies
i'm gonna weigh myself when i get home, but yesterday i was 156. i'm shooting for 154. wish me luck!!
height = 5'4"
age = 24
current weight = 156
highest = 172
GW1 = 145
GW2 = 135
UGW = 125 (never been that small in my life except when i was growing up)
seriously, how do some of you girls at my height weigh like, 100 pounds? i think i look pretty good now. i think i would look like a cancer patient at 100. maybe it's bone structure?
- Current Mood: naughty